Since we moved and I’ve made it my personal mission to make fun a MUCH bigger priority in my life, I’ve been searching for ways to get involved in my new community, make friends, and spend my evenings having FUN instead of working late or binging Netflix.
Last week I went to a book club meeting at a brewery on Tuesday, then went to a jewelry repair/restoration event on Wednesday where I got to bring some of my older pieces back to life. As a bonafide introvert, I was proud of myself for getting out there. And I had fun!
So this week when the opportunity to participate as an artist in the upcoming Salida Art Walk popped up, I jumped on it. Get involved in the local arts community? Yes! Meet new people with common interests? Yes, please. Maybe even make some extra money selling my paintings? Sounds awesome! And… fun!!
Until it didn’t.
Let me explain. The venue that will be hosting me as their guest artist is a real estate office in a prime location downtown. It’s a beautiful space with exposed brick and big glass offices with HUGE walls. The realtor who invited me to show my work is warm and friendly. What an amazing opportunity!
So why the heck didn’t this sound fun 15 minutes after I first thought it did?!
Because I got in my head.
Before I even realized what I was doing, I was stressing out over the paintings I’d need to create in the next 10 days to get ready. Obviously, I would need to create at least 3-4 new large paintings. I’d need a big one for the window to draw people in. I’d need one for the back wall so it would be visible from the street. And a couple more just for good measure.
My mind was spinning with all the things I’d have to do to make this happen. Rush order new canvases… stay up till midnight working… force myself to be creative when I already have plenty of other things going on the next week and a half.
I saw this big beautiful space and thought… I don’t have enough. My work isn’t big enough. I’m not enough.
No one told me these things. The Art Walk doesn’t even have any rules about minimum numbers of pieces, sizes, or even having cohesive bodies of work. No one said my work (or I) wasn’t good enough.
Except me.
I completely squashed the joy out of this invitation and potential for connection in this creative community, within minutes of receiving it.
Fortunately, I caught myself by that evening. This is a pattern I’ve noticed popping up in many other ways in my life, that I’ve been becoming increasingly aware of: that I always feel like I need to be doing more.
So what if I let go of all that in this situation?
An exercise my coach likes to do with me and her other clients is the “what if” game. I’ve found it to be super helpful in shifting my mindset when I’m stuck:
- “What if this event is purely about having fun for me?”
- “What if I learn about other opportunities to get involved in the community, making it feel more like home?”
- “What if I meet my new circle of friends?”
- “What if people actually really want to see/buy small paintings because they’re different or more affordable than everything else?”
- “What if I already have the perfect amount of work to fill the space?”
- “What if I just get to enjoy myself?”
I love all these possibilities! They feel fun. Putting a bunch of pressure on myself to do more does not.
So what does having fun in this situation look like? I imagine myself smiling, laughing, feeling relaxed. Painting for the joy of it and sharing that joy with others in the space. Listening to music and being myself.
Not burning the candle at both ends, losing sleep, and creating paintings that come from pressure, not inspiration.
I’m back to feeling excited about this opportunity, and for that I’m grateful.
And I’ll be reminding myself every day, to lead with fun.
If you happen to be in Salida in the next few months, stop by and see my work! You can catch me IRL at one of the following events:
First Fridays
October 4, 2024
5:00 – 7:30pm
Salida Art Walk
October 11-13, 2024
10:00am – 5:00pm
Both events will take place at:
Coldwell Banker Collegiate Peaks Realty
139 W 1st St Unit A
Salida, CO 81201
If you can’t make the events, my work will be on display October through December! Coldwell Banker is open Monday-Friday, 10:00am-5:00pm (but reach out if you’re here on a Saturday/Sunday and I can likely get you in).